Ian was diagnosed with a moderate-to-severe
hearing loss in September of 2011, and during our completely chaotic
introduction to the world of audiology and hearing aids, he was also diagnosed
with Pervasive Developmental Disorder which falls under the autism umbrella.
As you can imagine, his father and I
went through a myriad of emotions ranging from anger that our son “had autism,”
to being thankful we finally had answers to what seemed like years of
questions, and then back to anger again. We were thrown into a facet of life we
had never even considered, and acronyms like “PT,” “OT” and “ST” became part of
our every-day language. There were health insurance hoops to jump through and
specialist appointments to navigate, and there were days we would be almost
numb with the enormity of what we had to face.
It was rough. We had no previous
exposure to children on the spectrum, but even if we had, I don’t think it
would have mattered since every child is different, and that holds true for
children with autism as well. We had to employ a “learn as you go” philosophy,
and I can’t tell you how many nights I spent crying because the day had gone so
horribly wrong.
As time went on, I truly felt as if I
was failing my son. As his mother, I was the one whom he trusted to keep him
happy and safe, and I was the one who was supposed to have all the answers. I
obviously didn’t, and no matter how hard or how long I searched, things just
seemed to go from bad to worse. With each meltdown and with every outburst I
was failing, and I didn’t know what to do.
A friend and I were on the phone one
day, and during one of my many emotional breakdowns, she mentioned Kids and
Canines. As she explained the mission statement of their program, I felt the
first real glimmer of hope I had felt in the years since Ian’s diagnoses. He
had always loved animals, and I wondered if there might be a chance a dog could
reach him in a way we couldn’t anymore.
I applied to the program, we completed
interviews with the staff and the dogs, and finally our prayers were answered.
We received the letter telling us we had been accepted to participate in the
Team Training, and I wish you all could have seen Ian’s smile when we told him,
because it was magnificent. We were all excited, but Ian’s happiness was almost
overwhelming, and we assured him we would do whatever we could to bring a dog
home for him.
As the starting
date got closer, I grew more and more nervous about the training. I knew the
pressure was on for me to do my best, and I was afraid I wouldn't be up to the challenge. In 2012 I
had to leave my full-time job to focus on caring for Ian, so it had been a long
time since I had done anything of consequence outside of family obligations,
longer still since I had had to study for any sort of test, and I was afraid I
was too out of practice to learn everything I needed to.
I can tell you the experience was
exactly how I thought it would be, but it was also nothing like I imagined. I
probably felt every emotion while sitting in the grooming room and listening to
Mary and Jen explain how to get the most out of our dogs and while practicing
commands. I grew frustrated with how much information I was trying to absorb
yet couldn’t seem to grasp, and I was scared that I was going to mess
everything up and be the one responsible for breaking my son’s heart. I was
exhausted every day when I got home from our sessions, and after caring for the
kids and then studying, I would fall asleep moments after turning off the
light. But, through all of that I was excited May had arrived and
I was working with Nick and starting to learn all I needed to know to bring him
home successfully.
It was both the longest and shortest
2 weeks I can ever remember. Standing here now I feel as if just moments have
gone by since Mike, Beth and I had our first lecture, but considering how much
I’ve come to care about and respect the entire Kids and Canine staff, the volunteers, and the
kids who train these wonderful dogs, I am shocked it’s only been 2
weeks. I spent 10 days tethered to a dog I didn’t know very well but whom I’ve
come to love and trust completely, and while it sometimes feels as if he's always been a part of our family, at times I find myself looking at him in complete awe because he's finally here.
In closing, I would like to thank the Kids and
Canines program for welcoming us in to their special family. I honestly feel
like we have been given a gift more amazing than I ever could have dreamed,
because I’ve been able to see first-hand what Nick has done for our family in
just the short time he’s been with us. Laughter has replaced the tears, smiles
are becoming commonplace, and the nightmares are starting to be replaced by
peaceful dreams. I can start looking at my son and not be blinded by my fear
for his future, because we have been given hope in the form of a 4-legged angel
named Nick.
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