Friday, May 23, 2014

Graduation Speech

As promised, here's the speech I gave at the graduation ceremony last night. They night went beautifully, and I'm still adjusting to the fact Nick is officially ours! (Pardon the layout. I set it up like this so it was easy for me to read out loud, so it isn't necessarily grammatically correct).


Ian was diagnosed with a moderate-to-severe hearing loss in September of 2011, and during our completely chaotic introduction to the world of audiology and hearing aids, he was also diagnosed with Pervasive Developmental Disorder which falls under the autism umbrella.    

As you can imagine, his father and I went through a myriad of emotions ranging from anger that our son “had autism,” to being thankful we finally had answers to what seemed like years of questions, and then back to anger again. We were thrown into a facet of life we had never even considered, and acronyms like “PT,” “OT” and “ST” became part of our every-day language. There were health insurance hoops to jump through and specialist appointments to navigate, and there were days we would be almost numb with the enormity of what we had to face.

It was rough. We had no previous exposure to children on the spectrum, but even if we had, I don’t think it would have mattered since every child is different, and that holds true for children with autism as well. We had to employ a “learn as you go” philosophy, and I can’t tell you how many nights I spent crying because the day had gone so horribly wrong.

As time went on, I truly felt as if I was failing my son. As his mother, I was the one whom he trusted to keep him happy and safe, and I was the one who was supposed to have all the answers. I obviously didn’t, and no matter how hard or how long I searched, things just seemed to go from bad to worse. With each meltdown and with every outburst I was failing, and I didn’t know what to do.

A friend and I were on the phone one day, and during one of my many emotional breakdowns, she mentioned Kids and Canines. As she explained the mission statement of their program, I felt the first real glimmer of hope I had felt in the years since Ian’s diagnoses. He had always loved animals, and I wondered if there might be a chance a dog could reach him in a way we couldn’t anymore.

I applied to the program, we completed interviews with the staff and the dogs, and finally our prayers were answered. We received the letter telling us we had been accepted to participate in the Team Training, and I wish you all could have seen Ian’s smile when we told him, because it was magnificent. We were all excited, but Ian’s happiness was almost overwhelming, and we assured him we would do whatever we could to bring a dog home for him.

As the starting date got closer, I grew more and more nervous about the training. I knew the pressure was on for me to do my best, and I was afraid I wouldn't be up to the challenge. In 2012 I had to leave my full-time job to focus on caring for Ian, so it had been a long time since I had done anything of consequence outside of family obligations, longer still since I had had to study for any sort of test, and I was afraid I was too out of practice to learn everything I needed to.

I can tell you the experience was exactly how I thought it would be, but it was also nothing like I imagined. I probably felt every emotion while sitting in the grooming room and listening to Mary and Jen explain how to get the most out of our dogs and while practicing commands. I grew frustrated with how much information I was trying to absorb yet couldn’t seem to grasp, and I was scared that I was going to mess everything up and be the one responsible for breaking my son’s heart. I was exhausted every day when I got home from our sessions, and after caring for the kids and then studying, I would fall asleep moments after turning off the light. But, through all of that I was excited May had arrived and I was working with Nick and starting to learn all I needed to know to bring him home successfully.

It was both the longest and shortest 2 weeks I can ever remember. Standing here now I feel as if just moments have gone by since Mike, Beth and I had our first lecture, but considering how much I’ve come to care about and respect the entire Kids and Canine staff, the volunteers, and the kids who train these wonderful dogs, I am shocked it’s only been 2 weeks. I spent 10 days tethered to a dog I didn’t know very well but whom I’ve come to love and trust completely, and while it sometimes feels as if he's always been a part of our family, at times I find myself looking at him in complete awe because he's finally here.

In closing, I would like to thank the Kids and Canines program for welcoming us in to their special family. I honestly feel like we have been given a gift more amazing than I ever could have dreamed, because I’ve been able to see first-hand what Nick has done for our family in just the short time he’s been with us. Laughter has replaced the tears, smiles are becoming commonplace, and the nightmares are starting to be replaced by peaceful dreams. I can start looking at my son and not be blinded by my fear for his future, because we have been given hope in the form of a 4-legged angel named Nick.

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Back to School

Training has officially begun! I started the sessions at Kids and Canines on Monday, and I realized it is going to be a much different experience than I thought it was going to be. I'm not sure where I got the idea we would just be working on commands and seeing what the dogs could do for the two weeks I'm scheduled to be there, but I was obviously wrong. While we do a lot of that, of course, there is so much more. We have lectures ranging from how the dogs learn to how we teach them, and we as handlers are actually the ones being trained when we go over the commands. If nothing else, I've learned that the dogs we are working with are much, much smarter than I gave them credit for, and their devotion to their jobs is one of the most amazing things I've ever seen.

The first day was pretty amazing, but yesterday was really something. We are at the stage where the dog is now basically attached to us during the day, and as we were wrapping up yesterday's lectures, Nick was laying under the table napping on my feet. The door to the room opened, and the family that's been raising him walked in to pick him up for the last time. The two staff members who run the program wanted to see what would happen, so we all sat back and waited to see what Nick would do.

At first he didn't even lift his head, but after a moment he looked to see who had come in. The raisers started talking, and at the sound of their voices Nick looked up at me, then lay his head back down on my feet. We waited a bit longer, and then the staff told them to call him over. He wagged his tail, looked at me, and then put his head back down until I told him to go ahead. At that he looked at me again, stood up, gave me another look, and then trotted over to the little girl in the family. However, once he gave her a kiss, he turned around without a word from me and made his way back to lay under the table again!

I can't even explain to you what that felt like. It was as if this wonderful creature was telling me that he knows how much we need him, and he is willing to let go of everything he has ever known and loved in order to do his job. He is trusting that I will provide him with what he needs, and in return he is going to do whatever it is we need him to. This amazing dog is going to change our lives, and I have to keep reminding myself that it is real.

The bond is there. It's happening.